The Team

And now for the introductions:

In THIS corner, at 28 years old and weighing in at far more than he should, is Ryan Brice.  He's a physical and technical security professional currently looking for a job on the East Coast.  Originally from Byram, Sussex (where men are men and sheep are scared) County, NJ - he currently resides in Sunnyvale, CA.  He's a budding home chef, a gamer, a musician, a husband, and one day hopes to own a pub and restaurant with his two best friends!

Alton Brown seen here with his idol, Ryan Brice

In THIS corner, also at 28 years old and weighing a lean "I love beer...enough said," is James Cornelius Coates III.  Jim makes his living providing the state of New Jersey with the single most valuable resource known to man...BEER!  Well, sort of.  He has been busting his hind parts delivering water to customers all over the state, and with the recent devastation of the Frankenstorm the only better thing is electricity.  Originally from Hackettstown, Warren County, NJ - Jim currently resides in Bernardsville, NJ with his wif-er-fianc-er-girlfriend Emily!  Three cheers for the mighty Jim!

An Irishman wearing a Mexican sombrero holding a bottle of Japanese rice wine...

And now for our final player; an addition to the team starting about halfway through the journey., Also at 28 years old and weighing in at "fuck you I'm not telling you how much I weigh," is Nikolas Carfano.  Nik is a regional inventory manager for Verizon Wireless, and can't wait for an opening in NJ so he can move back home.  Originally from Hackettstown, Warren County, NJ - he currently resides in The Colony, TX.  Reports indicate that he hasn't gone full redneck yet, however the terms "y'all" and "all y'all" have been heard coming from his mouth.  He isn't considered a lost cause yet, though.

I know you like my camouflaged surfer cowboy hat from Wal*Mart...also I just farted

In some areas, these three gentlemen could be considered the tri-fecta from hell.  Ryan's mother has already warned him no less than 6 times that "the three of you have to be safe - no fooling around."  It is currently projected that with the addition of Nik in Dallas, the three together will cut a hilarious swath of comedic destruction across the country akin to Frankenstorm and Katrina combined.  Not really - that's mean.  They're just going to have a really good time.  Three guys who have been friends for so long in the same car for days?  Surely hijinks will ensue.

A very tame rendition of some of our times together

I...I really just don't know.  Where did he get a corset?

Yes, he used to try the "blow out" hair style.  Yes, it was before the Jersey Shore

One part FNB, one part Heimlich Maneuver, one part Zangeif

Science has adopted a new time era - based on the evolution of Nik's ridiculous sideburns

This is either right before or right after we all slow danced together

It takes two to tango.  Also, Jim really doesn't know how to do the tango

What could possibly go wrong?